Kate asked me the other day of there was anything that I wished I had known before I started planning my wedding. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and after having a think about this it turns out there were a few things that could have kept my stress levels down a bit! So to help you on your journey towards the big day, here’s a list of the 10 things I wish I knew before I said ‘I do’.
You won’t be able to make everyone happy
While a techno DJ or a long guest list may be important to others, they may not be to you and that’s ok. Take the opinions of others into consideration but make sure you and your partner are comfortable with the decisions being made. At the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is that of you and your partner.
You won’t get everything you want
Unless you’re a Kardashian, chances are you will have some sort of budget you want to stick to for your wedding day. Take time to really think about what elements are most important to you and put your money behind them. I promise, you won’t miss the white chair covers you thought you wanted so badly or whether you got the monogrammed napkins or not.
Delegate as much as possible (People want to help, so let them!)
I’m a perfectionist, so I’m the first to admit how hard asking for help really is but don’t be afraid to enlist help from others. It was only after the wedding that I realised that there were lots of people who would have been happy to help, if I had only asked. Once you reach out, you’ll be happily overwhelmed by how many people genuinely want to help you out.
Don’t take on too many DIY projects
I wish I’d known that my desire to DIY, although cost effective, would have turned me into a twine-loving insomniac with an unhealthy obsession with Martha Stewart. Making elements of your wedding is a great way to add a personal touch if you genuinely want to make things and have the time, but be realistic about what you want to DIY as homemade place cards made of vintage photos may be super cute and personal, but trust me, they are not worth your sanity.
Social media – Yay or Nay
Have a neutral party speak on your behalf before the all-important aisle walk and advise of your social media wishes to your guests. For instance, it’s ok to ask your guests to use no form of social media during the ceremony or reception of that matter. Consider though discussing your social media wishes with your friends and family ahead of time so there are no hard feelings after the fact.
Think about a day-of coordinator
For my wedding, I had a coordinator at our ceremony and reception site directing the vendor traffic and setting-up to my bridezilla “type A” specifications. Ensure you have someone extremely reliable that you can leave all details with, it’s so worth it! Enlist the services of a wedding coordinator, you’ll feel much better leaving the worry to someone else!
Something will go wrong – and it’ll turn out OK
As much as you plan, something will always go wrong or not as you had planned – and everything will be just fine. Know that whatever that “wrong” may be, it’s not going to ruin your day. Instead, roll with it and take time to enjoy it. As long as you go home married, you had a successful wedding.
The little details are far less significant than the people there to celebrate your love
No one will remember all of your tiny details – like a monogrammed aisle runner, your perfect wedding program, or your cool favours. Your guests will remember the way they felt as you and your partner said ‘I do’. Details on the wedding day are incredibly beautiful but there is something far more meaningful… the people that are there to celebrate the two of you. The people are what make the day special.
It really does go by so fast!
And so the cliché goes “it’s over before you know it.” No, seriously though, it is. Make sure that on your big day, you stop and look around. These are the people you love most in your life, here for you and your partner. Take the time to chat with your guests, bring them out on the dance floor and try and spend time with them. You will be so busy partaking in all the festivities that a lot of the things you agonized over just won’t matter.
It really is the best start of your marriage and kick starts the rest of your life together
Most importantly, don’t lose sight of the purpose for the event in the first place. You are having a wedding to celebrate your union and to vow to spend the rest of your lives together. You want a beautiful marriage not just a beautiful wedding. Throughout the planning process, don’t lose the purpose in it all. It is easy to get wrapped up in all the details but at the end of the day you are there to marry your person.